he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So much Jack, so little girl.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
