i can't believe i had my finger in that
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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