At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
