i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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