We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
