return my video game
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
