just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize