someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
