I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
