I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
