I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
