Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize