Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
