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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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• (917): View more from New York City

  so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  if i died would you start the facebook group?

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

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• (646): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.

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• (925): View more from California

  I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure

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• (+33): View more from France

  He asked me how france is treating me

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.

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