Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
