Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I supernannyed him into submission
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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