She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize