Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize