So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
