Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
