turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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