i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
