I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
