I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
