apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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