I want to walk on stilts...naked
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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