i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
