She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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