I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
