i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
