he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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