If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
