I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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