Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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