She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
