Pappa wants mamma naked
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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