Don't make out with my wife yet
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
