Will you blow on my dice?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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