I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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