the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize