I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
