The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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