hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
