were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
