After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
