It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
