Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
