please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
