You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
