I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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