I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Randomize
