btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
