so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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