Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
