hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you win again, gameday.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We left the knife in your bed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
