puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
