There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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