I've blown a few things in my day
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize