I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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