don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
