why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
please come you make the beer taste better
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize