Apparently you make a good broom.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
