I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
