We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
