you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
