Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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