How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
