my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
this will be a night to untag.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
