you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
