"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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