I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
