i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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